In this world, we don’t live alone. We’re surrounded by a lot of people – our family, relatives, friends, colleagues, customers, etc. Our connection with these individuals varies…depending on how important someone is to you.
So, you have a relationship with somebody right now….be it a friend, a colleague or anyone….and you’re wondering whether should you make an effort for it? Actually, any relationship requires us to make an effort if we want to maintain or improve it. It just depends on the level of attention/effort you yourself want to give.
Well, I personally believe the amount you receive in a relationship is normally more than or equal to the amount you give. If it is lesser, it depends on how much you treasure the person. If the person is someone important, such as your boss or your client……you have no other choice but to continue and maintain the good relationship, right? If the person is just your average hi-bye friend…..then you can choose to “prune the person out of your social garden” like what Bill McFarlan and Dr Alex Yellowlees said in the book “Are you good enough?“.
Relationship of any kinds, needs the efforts from both parties. If you’re willing to make an effort in maintaining or improving the relationship, you must also make sure it is always both sided. Otherwise, you’ll run into the “clapping with one hand” problem which will only frustrate and tire you out.
So, make an effort if you feel it is worth it. Any relationship is worth giving it a try. If you find it’s not worth it, “prune it” and move on to the next one. Always remember that a relationship is like a pot of flowers…….if left uncared, it’ll wither very fast. 🙂
p/s….It just happened to me that I’m in a situation which is quite similar to this…thus resulted in this post.
3 comments
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January 11, 2007 at 11:35 pm
Angie Tan
Hmmmm…
If you’ve read the 7 Habits book by Stephen Covey, you’ll find that in a relationship, there is a certain amount of trust involved, known as the “trust” account.
The more trust you put in, the closer your relationship is with that person. If that person betrays you or hurt you in some manner, you tend to back off, taking off an amount from that “trust” account.
Where there is no trust, the relationship becomes cold and hostile and you don’t expect people to work together so well.
So, in a balanced relationship, there is a certain amount input from both sides. If one puts in more trust in that account, while the other takes out more, the relationship is not going to be good either. One of the parties feels burdened, while the other is just too dependent on the other person.
In my opinion, trust is important in any relationship.
January 13, 2007 at 3:58 pm
Alvin
Yea, trust. I have a friend who got betrayed few times by her so-called ‘close friends’ before…….and yet, she never gave up giving hope on friendship. Again and again, she is willing to trust the person next to her (er…to a certain limit of course). When I asked her, why did she do that?
She told me “human beings need to trust each other. I’m willing to risk being betrayed than not to trust anyone anymore. A life without people you can trust around you, is meaningless”.
How true….i really respect this friend of mine. 🙂
March 22, 2007 at 4:48 pm
bony
I am a regular visitor of your blog and always find something new at your site. I have come up with some new findings and want to share it with you.
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Thanks
Andy