In case you’re wondering, NO, I’m not referring to multi-personalities syndrome. No Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde here. I’m referring to the multiple roles each of us play everyday in our life.
Just recently, a radio DJ (again) talked about this topic on multiple roles/responsibilities and why we should make sure we know how to differentiate them. I find this topic rather interesting, and decided to write this post.
Each and everyone of us do have at least 1 role to play in this world. Most of us, though, have multiple roles to play. Take myself for example. While at work, I’m a IT Developer in my company. But that’s just my position in the company. My role here is as an employee who delivers based on the timeline given. That’s my role in the office (besides trying to help my colleagues or cheer them up when they’re down or give them moral support, etc… see? I’m a nice guy). At home, my role is as a son to my parents and a brother to my elder sister. I need to look after them, love them, care for them, pay for the housing loan, etc. That’s part of my responsibilities at home. But to my friends, I am, well, a friend. Someone to hang out with, someone to seek advice or help from whenever necessary.
You see….some of us already know what are the correct roles we should play at specific time and place. However, the problem lies with how many of us actually can practice what we know? Not many.
Let me ask you this question – how many of you actually bring your work back to your house? I must admit I do that (and I love doing that). But I also must admit I am an expert in multi-tasking. When you bring your office work back to your home, it is never a good thing since you’ll most likely neglect your family. You are bringing the role of an employee from your office, back to your home. Thus, replacing your role as your parents’ son, or your wife’s husband, etc. It’s okay if you do this once in a blue moon….but if you always do this (and you can’t multi-task at all), then it is very unhealthy. Even if you can multi-task, I must admit it is better to separate work from family.
On the other hand, some people who don’t bring their work back to home, will instead bring their mindset back. No matter which industry you’re working in, you can never escape from work-related stress. But, do you think it is appropriate to bring whatever stress you have accumulated in the office and release everything when you are back at home? Many of us know it’s WRONG but how many of us actually can say the sentence “I have never done that before“. 10% maybe. My advice is, no matter how stressed up you are at work….you should leave it as it is once you stepped into your home. You won’t want to end up shouting at your innocent 3 year old boy who is just trying to help his worried-looking dad.
What if you are the president of some large corporations who recently joined a non-profit organization to contribute? Should you bring your “status” as a president into this non-profit group? Again, know your role. You should never assume yourself as the president of the company anywhere else other than in your company. Not in this non-profit organization who shares a completely different ideology, not in your family, and not even in a shopping complex. Know to play the appropriate role based on the situation, the timing, and the location you are in. You won’t want to end up bossing people around during a charity dinner when your main objective is to contribute to those in needs.
I know it’s never easy to do whatever I said above. Human beings are very “dynamic” creatures. We can change roles as we like…. but sometimes, we just won’t realize we are playing the wrong roles until it’s too late. The ability to be “dynamic” is a double-edged sword.
In the end, I believe it is up to the person himself to control this and balance up his life. Play the appropriate role at the right time, right place….. and never make the roles overlapping each other.
Hope it helps.



6 comments
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May 15, 2007 at 9:50 pm
gabrielbcn
You’ve got a great blog, and you’ve got a new reader too
best regards
May 16, 2007 at 9:58 am
Alvin
Thanks gabriel
Appreciate it (you’ve got a great blog yourself)
May 16, 2007 at 2:29 pm
Angeline
Hmmmm… I would have to say that being female and also someone working in an IT company as a person in a sort of leadership role, I’m used to carrying multiple roles.
The key here is adaptability and balance.
We need to balance out the roles in our lives. As life goes on, your roles in life will change. For example, boyfriend/girlfriend to husband/wife to mother/father. It changes.
So, as we rotate from role to role, we need to be able to adapt to changes. On the other hand, we also need balance from all roles. There was something I heard from a motivational CD the other day which mentioned that we all need different pillars in life. We can’t totally rely our lives on 1 tree, e.g. 1 role in life. That would make us very unstable.
Hence, work is work, leave it at work. When you come home, concentrate on your family. Same with everything else.
It’s all about balance…
May 18, 2007 at 6:48 pm
Alvin
Yea, it’s all about balance but finding this balance is never an easy thing to do. Most of the time, people will end up trying very hard to get this “balance” but didn’t realize they are already “overlapping” some of their roles against each others.
June 12, 2007 at 3:30 am
Mark
Balance is key as you pointed out very well. Another well written blog entry. It also gave me time to reflect how I have changed my life most dramatically this year, shifting roles as you called it.
June 12, 2007 at 10:35 am
Alvin
Hey mark, thanks for the comment. Been a while since I last hear from you.
Well, yea, everything in this world needs to hv a balance one way or another. The difficult part is to know what is the ‘balance’…and of coz, how to achieve it.