We all have our own share of setbacks from time to time. Nobody can escape from it. It just depends on what degree is the setbacks – it could be failing in your exam, falling out with your lover, involved in an accident, hospitalized, etc. It also depends on how you yourself define the word “setback”.
Why do I say so? To some people, a minor problem like not able to attend a friend’s party or not achieving 100% score for an exam paper (er…there are really such people) is a setback. On the contrary, some people define something as serious as being hospitalized, or being diagnosed with a serious illness (*touch wood*) as a setback.
Besides having the right mindset, it is also very important to know that you should always learn to handle setbacks properly. Some people chose to ignore the setbacks and carry on with whatever they are doing. Wise choice, but not the wisest since some setbacks will come back to haunt you. For example, getting a poor performance review means you need to improve yourself before the next performance review. If you ignore it, it will show how dedicated an employee you are. You won’t change. Your shortcomings will still be there. That’s why, if you are the kind of person who prefers to ignore everything and carry on with your life, just be sure that the setback/problem will not come back to haunt you in the future. Choose wisely.
There are also some people who dwell on the setback for a long period of time. Too long. My advice is…. if you feel like crying, then cry your heart out. I always tell people that “after the rain, the sky will always look clearer and you’ll know which way to go“. Just make sure that your “sky” will not always be filled with “dark clouds” even after you cried.
Hope you get what I mean.
In the end, it is the solution that we want. Not the problem. Don’t dwell on the problem. Let’s focus on the solution. I know it’s human nature to keep complaining about the problem, but what’s the point? You’ll just be wasting your energy. I always tell people that rather than complaining, maybe we should start looking at what we can do to change the situation. Having 3 or 4 brains together to think about a possible solution is always better than 3 or 4 brains dwelling in the problem for too long.
I know it’s hard to do all these. I’ve experienced setbacks myself. I’ve climbed back up whenever I fell and I know it’s never easy. Yet, we have to do that. Life goes on. This life is too wonderful to let a few setbacks ruin it.
So, live your life to the fullest. Don’t dwell on the problems. Solve them ! And if you can’t, nobody can.



2 comments
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April 25, 2007 at 6:51 pm
Angie Tan
Here is something which I learnt recently, the ability to overcome setbacks in a well-adjusted manner.
Again, I have a story. Two children are sitting on the beach by the sea. Suddenly, a great wave comes up to the shore. One of the children, runs back to his/her mother, while the other just stands and laughs at the sea.
Who do you think learnt the lesson?
The first child did not face up to the “challenge” or “setback” and only learnt to be a bigger crybaby, while the other, who overcame the challenge is willing to try for another wave.
Sure, overcoming setbacks is not easy. It never is. We all tend to feel a little down at first, but it is important to not dwell on it.
Look at Thomas Edison, when he invented the lightbulb, he was glad to know that his experiment succeeded and said that this was his “successful failure” after learning how NOT TO FAIL at making a lightbulb.
April 25, 2007 at 8:17 pm
Alvin
Hmm, it really depends on situation. Sometimes, when a big wave is coming…it’s best to run away, and not to laugh at the sea.
But if you seriously feel you can tackle the incoming wave, then by all means, work hard to make sure you’ll succeed